Hunting For Blondes
by Magnoot
Summary: Kenny is left alone for Valentines and goes around to see if he can steal the others Valentines. This is my first fanfic and i decided to try to use my favorite pairing.


Kenny smirked as he looked over the classroom on the twitchy blond.

The shadow that often followed the small boy around was nowhere to be seen, apparently he had been sent to the principal after flipping of a teacher. And that left Kenny with a perfect situation. The classroom was empty, Tweek was probably waiting for Craig.

"Gah!"

Kenny's grin grew wider, it was Valentines Day and Kenny had ended up alone so now he was looking for someone to fill that empty space. The one he had wanted to spend it with was sick.

So know Kenny had chosen a target. The boy who was Kenny's choice to fill empty space was right then absorbed in what you could call a freak out. He twitched and was tugging in his hair with his left arm while gulping down hot coffee with the right. The earlier mention shadow would have flipped him of and then calmed in down, but know he had to do it himself. Couldn't say it was going well.

Where is Craig!

Shouldn't he be back now, or had he gotten lost or kidnapped by the underpants gnomes and now he would never see the raven again. That was way to much pressure he couldn't be alone maybe he would never find anyone else and die alone with only cats. But he was allergic to cats and they would claw out his eyes and then he would be blind and then how would he find Craig who was lost or kidnapped. AND WHY DOES IT FEELS LIKE SOMEONE WAS STARING AT HIM!

"GAH DON'T EAT ME!" he screamed as a hand was planted on his shoulder.

"Chill it's me" grinned Kenny down at the shorter boy.

"Oh -ngh- hey Kenny. What a-are you doing here –gah- you're not h-here to steal my coffee r-right?"

"No, I just want to steal a valentines kiss"

Tweek's eyes grew wide as he stared up at the orange clad boy. A cute pink colour grew over Tweek's cheek and the twitching had for once stopped, not sure if it was a good thing.

"D-dude, w-w-way to much PRESSURE!"

The last word he screamed as Kenny leaned closer to get, well obvious the kiss he just asked for. Tweek scooted back and got pinned against the window with the orange clad boy grinning.

"S-s-s-stop! Hey w-wait listen K-Kenny!"

Nope not going to happen, not when he was this close to get a kiss. He could almost guess what it would taste like and it was fun to tease Tweek to nearly having a breakdown.

"I-I don't really w-want to. So would you mind t-to let go -gah- this is to much p-pressure!"

When he finally had enough of teasing Tweek he leaned forward and kissed him. He was right about the taste, dark coffee greeted his lips as he forcefully showed his tongue into the smaller teens mouth.

This time it was Kenny who jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder. The grip was painful and dragged back with force that made it necessary to let go of Tweek if he didn't want to fall backwards.

"Uh, hey Craig. Good to see you"

"No" came the angry answer.

The normal monotone raven stared at him with a death glare. Kenny waved to the boy with a scared smile.

"McCormick, do that again and I will find a fucking way to make you stay dead"

Kenny nodded and Craig slowly let go before turning and going back to Tweek. Kenny left in a hurry hopefully Craig would not kill him today he didn't want to spend the day in hell.

"Tweek come here" Craig voice had the normal dull tone in it again when he leaned closer to Tweek, not much different from Kenny had done just a minute earlier.

But this kiss was gentle and soft and left Tweek smiling and Craig expression grew somewhat warmer.

"To get his taste away from your mouth, happy Valentine Tweek"

"Way to much p-pressure"

Meanwhile Kenny had found another blonde and decided to test his luck again. Said blonde looked at him and waved with an eyebrows raised.

"Kenny might I ask why you look like you has seen a ghost?" Gregory laughed.

"Well maybe I just was stunned by your beauty"

Cheesy yes but hey it used to work, apparently not on Gregory. Might be some British thing because Gregory merely tilted his head and drew his hand through his hair.

"I don't know what you may be up to but please keep me out of it. Mole isn't so keen on your group after you got him killed"

"Hey I wasn't there then"

"Yes I know that but your still friends with Cartman"

"Hey fat-ass has his ups and downs"

"Yes ups and downs that made him kill Mole"

"Okay I don't know how this conversation turned to this but let's not talk about fat-ass, he is kind of a turn off"

"Turn off?"

Kenny smirked at the obvious question before showing Gregory into the wall. He knew that he must work faster this time or just use more force, Gregory being rather strong. But Kenny won in body and length, which he used to his advantages. He just hoped that Gregory didn't take his rapier to school.

"Please tell me Kenny what is zis turn off of yours?"

Kenny paled when he heard the deep French accent behind him. Seriously again?

"Oh hey Mole"

"Bonjour Kenny"

"I probably should let down Gregory shouldn't I?"

"Yes you probably should do zat"

Gregory slid down the wall with an irritated frown on his face. Kenny turned around to meet the dirty French man who stared down on him. He might be taller than Gregory but Christophe was taller than him, and probably much stronger.

"So mind talking to me for a second?"

Gregory straightened his shirt while Christophe led Kenny behind the corner, a metallic sound was heard and Gregory looked worryingly at the direction.

Christophe walked towards him with his shovel over his shoulder and a scow on his face. Gregory looked after the other.

"Um Mole, where is Kenny?"

"In a better place?"

"You do know that he always ends up in hell"

"Exactly, a better place"

Christophe took on last step and then forced his lips on Gregory. With a smirk he realised the smoke from his cigarette in the others mouth, the blonde coughed and gave the mercenary a crocked smile.

"How I wish that you would stop that"  
"Happy Valentines Mon Cherie"

Kenny landed on the hard earth of hell and sighed. Yet again some jealous partner interrupted him, couldn't they let him have little fun with their blonde partners?

He looked around and saw that he had ended outside Satan's mansion.

"Of!"

Kenny looked up on the small figure that had fell over him. Another British blonde looked at him with worried eyes.

"Oh Kenny I am awfully sorry for falling on you" Pip mouthed and crawled of him.

Kenny smirked and raised himself so that he was sitting opposite of the small boy. Pip smiled politely and waived his hand. Two white wings decorated his back now that he was dead. But he didn't seem to use them because he had just walked over Kenny.

"Hello Pip" he grinned and leaned closer, Pip smile faltered and he got a confused look in his eye.

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Yes but you have to come closer it's a secret"

The angel leaned closer and turned his head so that Kenny could whisper in his ear, if he wanted…. which he didn't. Pip cried out when his ear was met with a wet tongue, Kenny lunged forward and straddled the now obvious scared angle.

"Kenny um not to be a bother but could you get of me. And stop petting my wings"

The wings flapped in a way to try to get away from Kenny who was dragging his hand throw them. As expected they were soft and had an airy feeling to them. The bearer of the wings worked just as hard to get away but it was impossible for the small Britt to get away so he stayed put.

Kenny leaned forward and kissed Pip who still tried to get away. Kenny smirked and deepened the kiss, which made Pip go pale and struggle even more. But Kenny enjoyed the sweet taste of the angel so he let the kiss last a little longer before stopping.

"There that wasn't so bad"

"MCCORMICK!"

"But that is bad"

The immortal could feel how hell grew hotter (not it a good way) when a severally pissed Anti-Christ walked to them. He had just stepped out from his father's house to go look for Pip.

"Hello Damien" Kenny chirped in a try to sound nice, the fire in the demon's eye made it likely that it didn't work.

"Kenny get. of. Pip. NOW!" the demon roared, both blond cringed but one more than the other.

Kenny stepped of the angel who hastily flied up in the air behind Damien. Damien looked on the flustered Britt then turned again to the immortal.

"Kenny it seems that you do not know what is best for you" Damien seethed between clenched lips. Kenny could have sworn that he growled.

The fire of hell grew closer to Kenny as he staggered backwards. This may have been the most dangerous person he had pissed of so far, even thought he was dead. Could the Anti-Christ kill him?

"Damien don't hurt him!" the angel shouted behind the taller teens back when the fire started to eat of Kenny's parka.

Damien turned again and gave a Pip a look, much warmer than the one Kenny got, and sighed.

"Kenny you better stay alive or get into heaven because I am not going to give you a second chance"

The both other boy watched when the immortal boy disappeared, Pip really hoped that Damien had sent him back to earth.

"Pip, what were you doing wandering around in hell?" The Britt turned his attention to the demon that stared at him.

"Right!" he smiled when he reminded himself of what he was doing.

"Look" he smiled when he pulled out a dark red flower and offered it to Damien.

"A flower, really?" Damien looked at the flower with his normal frown on the face. Then he sighed and smiled.

Pip found himself pulled in a hug and smiled when his opposite kissed him. It tasted brimstone and smoke and Damien was so warm. Damien took the flower and watched it with a confused smile.

"Happy Valentine Dami" the anti-christ smiled down at the blonde, for the first time content with an earthly holiday.

After being threatened by Craig, killed by Mole and returned back to earth by Damien (was that a good or bad thing?) Kenny decided that it was time to give up. And besides which blonde would he pester know, Thomas and get a 'Fuck!' shouted to his face, no thanks. He closed his eyes and stayed in the snow he know laid in.

"K-Kenny"

He looked up on the boy who stood over him. The one who was supposed to be sick.

"Wuh-what are y-you doing h-here?"

Butters gave him a small smile and cracked his knuckles together. Kenny smiled, one last try. He grabbed the boy and dragged him down to his chest. The smile grew wider when no resistance was made.

"A-aren't you c-cold here?"

"No I think this is just perfect"

"…."

"Kenny"

"What?"

His eyes went down to the butter blonde boy. Said blond was putting his knuckles together while trying to hide a blush. Then his head shot upwards and a small peck was placed on Kenny's mouth.

"H-happy valentines"


End file.
